Some days mark a clear before and after in your life. For me, July 29th, 2025 was that kind of day. The day I finally got the answer to a question I didn’t even fully realize I’d been asking for years.
I had an ADHD diagnosis.
Although I, and the people around me, had suspected it for a while, hearing it confirmed changed something deep inside me.
I went to ADHDCentraal together with my mother. That, in itself, felt symbolic. She had seen me grow up, seen me struggle, supported me through phases of frustration, restlessness, and endless overthinking all without a clear explanation for why things always felt a little harder, more intense, more “off” than they seemed to be for others. Having her there that day meant a lot.
The entire day was a combination of tests, conversations and observations. At times it felt clinical, other times incredibly personal. I talked about my past, my focus (or lack of that), my energy levels, my patterns, and the ways I had learned to adapt, mask, and push through. Some questions hit harder than expected. Others brought unexpected relief, as if someone finally understood what had been going on inside my head for years.
After the official diagnose came the moment I tried ADHD medication for the first time. I had mixed feelings. Hopeful, skeptical, a bit nervous. But within an hour or so, something subtle started to shift. The chaos in my mind quieted just enough for me to hear myself think. I didn’t feel drugged or different, just more focused. More in control. I could follow a thought without losing it halfway and I could sit still for twenty minutes during the QbTest. Here you can see what that test is like.
It was like someone had turned down the background noise that I’d grown so used to, I didn’t even know it was there. And the restlessness disappeared, for a little while. It was absolutely amazing to experience another version of myself. I can honestly say Marcel version 1.1 is in beta!
That day wasn’t just about getting a label or trying a pill. It was the beginning of a new chapter. A personal chapter. One where I can stop guessing and start understanding myself better. Where I can stop compensating for something unnamed, and begin navigating life with more awareness and more tools, both internal and external.
This diagnosis didn’t change who I am, but it did give me a framework for why I’ve always felt the way I do and how I can work with my brain instead of against it. The road ahead is still full of discovery, but for the first time in a long time, it feels like I’m walking it with a map.
And that, in itself, is a huge relief.
Photo by Vlad D
